shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
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