so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
