if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
