Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
