ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Randomize
