she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
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