He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Just high enough for therapy.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
