Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
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