nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
i need some magic done to my vagina
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
