So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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