ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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