The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
