its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
