shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Randomize
