NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
