i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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