You're so nebulous sometimes
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
