I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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