She's JV to your varsity
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
