why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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