If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Randomize
