Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
