wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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