and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Randomize
