At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
