my mouth tastes like poor choices
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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