He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
