i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
