no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
