You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
