After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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