I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
is wine microwaveable?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
