oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
