4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
