Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Randomize
