i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Randomize
