I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
