WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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