The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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