Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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