Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
