never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
