I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Who died my cat blue again?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
