There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
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