he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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