physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
