my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
