you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
