A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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