Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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