If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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