WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Help. Why am I so naked?
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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