I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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