I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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