He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
