After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
